new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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