Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
