I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
