the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
