My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
