This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
