real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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