I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
