broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
