we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
