Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
