now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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