His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
