So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
