the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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