pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
