You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize