i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Randomize
