everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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