Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
