My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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