Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
