Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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