I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
