the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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