I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
