I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Do vagina's smell?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
