her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
then he tried to convert me to islam
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
