I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize