i permit you to call me
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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