I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
