They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We are two peas in an std pod
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize