Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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