She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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