Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize