Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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