just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Drunk is a universal language darling
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
