Non-Jews are for practice
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
