I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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