I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
