is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
