The beer is more important than you right now.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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