I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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