I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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