Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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