I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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