you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
