You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
