I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So here I am, sexting at work.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
