dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize