i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
