Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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