Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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