I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
