If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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