I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
