Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
