This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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