3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
