I must be too annoying 4 u.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
The ass gains better be worth it
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