woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
