no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize