dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
